You know I always dreamt of carrying a water bottle in the backpack and travel in my bike, though I never did that but it ended up carrying my urine samples to these labs :)
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Most crowded places in bengaluru are the hospitals (and of course hotels too), world of tears, sorrow, distress, suffering … except the happy faces of doctors (never try to observe I mean its inside). I thought it might take whole day to get consulted considering these ugly mourning depressed faces around. But receptionists (desperate looking for a new bakra) don’t make you feel; instead they grab your attention and treat like the guest asking for a room in the five star hotels.
“I would like to consult an urologists and what time ...” before I stop “sure sir. Please pay Rs 225 in the next queue and be seated, we will call you” she replied gracefully by picking up a receiver (we always see a no horn signal from traffic police near the hospitals but inside this hospital was like a telephone exchange the phone ringing so loud, thank god she received it) saying ‘__hospitals how can I help you’. What the hell!! She is not even helping a guy standing in front of her and at least not bothered of my words moreover my problem but she wanted to help an invisible caller on the other side. I could not argue much because of her gracefulness and there was another bakra behind me.
The queue was so big like an advance booking for a new super hit movie (god knows how many of them are booking their room in advance). Finally it’s my turn and paid 225 as told and the girl sorry lady was informative than the first one. She told me the process like you will be having an initial checkup and pre-consultation with junior doctor and then you are allowed to consult the doctor. Thank god my 225 is worth paying now.
My name was called and asked to check my weight in the digital machine. I have become a little overweight J after not only inventing but visiting some historic and non historic hotels, but my BP was normal (obviously as there is not much beauty to raise my inner instinct).
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Again told to wait for pre-consultation. I don’t understand most of all the faces as described are suffering and in pain on top of that these dabba hospitals in the visiting area showing Discovery, Nat geo channels tiger hunting deer like doctor hunting for patients hahaha … PJ J, related episodes in their TVs. Damn it!!! They charge so much can easily show MTV, channel V or our Udaya 2. At least people will be happier till they see their bills. No other go even I started watching those.
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‘6 AM are they joking?’ I never woke up so early in last few months and my practices have become so bad missing the sun raises, may be I tried around that during my morning show ;) to the new movie releases and here for the admitting to the hospital, NO WAY. Doctor wanted me to admit for 2 days as they could not able to conclude anything from my previous tests.
It was already 6 my brother was all set to take me and I was delaying purposefully, of course for the obvious reason. 7.15 We left smiling to my mom. It was altogether a different scene in the hospital than my previous visits as it is early in the morning and only in-patients and new admissions were seen. Sad, I was admitted without any delays, labeled the room ‘102 Mr. Kumar (u)’. What the hell, who wants to wear this dirty gown, I protested till the doctors arrive, a routine visit to all the in-patients. ‘How are you?’ one of the doctor said, don’t you know actually I should ask this question to you ‘how am I?’ no but I just said I am fine. He explained me what are the procedures and when I will be taken to OT (It may sound like horrifying if I expand so let’s keep it short). I smiled half heartedly. I was put into drip as I was told not to eat anything from morning (see I hate this when somebody try to avoid my food habits). So boring in the hospital and not so interesting nurses also (I feel nurse is an old tradition name for that profession but I don’t want to call them sisters :P) and even more worse was the clock straight opposite to me, hell!!. I keep on asking ‘mera number kab ayega’. At exactly 2 a stretcher came inside my room a kind of relief and fears other side.
My stretcher was stopped at the border (a space between the OT and other wards) and OT attendants took my charge. Finally saw beautiful eyes by side of me (yes they are all wearing masks. I think this is the basic strategy of OT that they should not reveal their faces) a lady attendant, just seeing her eyes I decided she is beautiful but she was. Now exactly inside the OT (2 big 63 LEDs light one with camera; looks were similar to in the movies but they were not used for me), the time I waited for to get rid off as soon as possible.
They started preparing for my so called operation and then entered anesthesia doctor. I believe one of the greatest wonders in medicine is anesthesia, God!! What an invention without that who will bear all these pain for whatever disease/operation. In other words it’s a kind of doctor’s confidence to experiment with any weapons they like. I was given spinal anesthesia for the lower part of my body and my upper part was already anesthetic as she was standing left of my side J. Points to remember here is they put a curtain on my abdomen to avoid me watching the doctor using his powerful hardware equipments (including camera) but I was more interested in the software a monitor right top of my head where the doctor was using it as a reference in recognizing my organs inside, a more sophisticated test was done in 15-20 mins, sent back to my 102 and discharged the next day.
