How to kill a rat

"Let’s have some coffee" Rupak said after playing some TT. We had played enough and wanted a break (ofcourse not from work……). Rupak took a lemon tea and we took milk, reached the balcony doing some PJ’s. Joseph wanted to see some new faces (ofcourse girl’s) in the notice board, but Rupak and I didn’t support, so he came back with half minded, telling Rupak that anyways he is married and not much interested in girls and all.

We started discussing about salary because it was the last day of the month and the day after was holiday. "You want to do any shopping" I asked, Rupak replied "no lots of shopping we did" Joseph "what u did in the weekend".Rupak started recalling all his memories from saturday morning to sunday night, slowly "aahh we went to jayanagar on saturday and Sunday to hospital" Joseph "why" again Rupak "aahh iiiii got some pain in my back so i went to hospital and they told me to do MRI scan, its 1000 Rs less on holidays so i manage to do on that day" and he was scared of the machine in which half of the body(may be) will go inside that machine. Joseph "so your full body was inside". I replied "yes full" because Rupak is somewhat short. Joseph laughed but Rupak with half-heartedly.


After sometime Rupak wanted to tell a story, and started recalling the day it happened, Joseph and myself are simply listening to him because we don’t have any other topics (or may be Rupak will not allow us to interfere)"Suuuuuuunddday night at 11 pm when my wife opened a table drawer" now i wanted to ask 'do you remember the minute?' but no. This is Rupak's style of explaining a small thing in a 70MM way (but a nice guyJ). "What happened" i asked, Rupak "there was biiiig rat inside" i thought ohh man we got a nice topic (about rat) to discuss, as we three were in the same project and didn’t have much work to do, lets continue as Rupak was so eager to explain.


"Really it was a big rat and my wife screamed like anything, i just ran inside to check that, ohh man it was really big" using his hands to show how big it was and his expressions was like there was an elephant inside drawer "my wife was reaalllly upset and i somewhat managed to console her and thought of calling my doctor" now suddenly Joseph and me looked at each other saying "doctor !!!" "no nnonoo" Rupak reacted to correct his word that instead of telling ‘his father’ he told ‘doctor’ because of his previous topic, i told him that "okk now a days hospitals got some consultants to help how to kill rat ". We were laughing, but Rupak ‘no way’ he wanted to continue with his story " Sorry sorry my father" again i interfered "oh your father is an expert in that" "haa he is very much experienced" Rupak said with a confidence that 'how many rats He (his father) had seen in his whole life'.


He paused and asked us, looking at me "How to kill a rat man" Joseph was listening carefully. This time i was serious and the question repeated in my mind 'how to kill a rat?' may be it was not in my syllabus (B.E) and i suggested him that "we can do a crash course in NIIT on this" Joseph who was completely involved, started laughing, Rupak smiled a bit. I thought he got upset because Rupak doesn’t like anyone interfering and Joseph "wait man let him complete" I said "ok jokes apart, continue", Rupak continued in the same tone "iiii went to the shop and bought a poisonous cake" yes here’s the solution i thought and wanted to appreciate him for this but I’ was not sure whether it was his or his fathers idea and i didn’t want to interfere this time, (he would kill me if i did that) "and i cut that into 9 pieces" oh god he remember how many pieces "and spread that in the drawer, I remember the shopkeeper told that the rat will eat this and die outside the house" now this is too much how come the rat die outside the house, who knows where it dies, may be the programmer(of poisonous cake) used some superb logic here, the rat will come outside and die. I thought this is a good idea to sell the poisonous cake. I interfered "why u cut into pieces instead you can just write 'dear rat eat this' on that cake" finally i made him laugh, meanwhile Joseph also got another idea “else u could write 'To, my cutie ratie From, Rupak' " Rupak already fed up with these PJs continued "the other day i saw there were only 6 pieces remaining, i guess the rat ate those 3 pieces" now he got relaxed because finally his effort is giving fruits but still worried of those three days that shopkeeper told "but its three days to wait man " now i felt that the programmer might use ‘if loop’ instead of ‘for’ in his logic, so that Rupak could sleep araam se.

At last the story somewhat came to an end, we got a crash course with free of cost. I took a deep breath, which was very much needed. Joseph who was listening silently, now started his version of killing rats "yes man we also faced the same thing in our room. ... When we were about to sleep, it was around 12pm .. . . . . suddenly a rat.. .... . . " oh not again i felt, but later i took the revenge on both of them by explaining my ways of killing ratsJ


I noticed Rupak’s expressions were asking so many questions like "whether that rat will die?” only 3 pieces it ate!" "that’s not enough because it was a big rat, i must have fed some more, or else it would die from starvation,"" oh man i have to wait for 3 days" soooo many questions are running in his mind.


Its already 6:30 we had to leave, we spend more than half an hour on this topic. We returned to our cubic, but my mind was fully occupied with Rupak’s expressions. I sat in my chair and opened outlook to check mails.

(After 2 days I heard that, rat died outside the house and Rupak was feeling better than before.)

--- Arun